Matt & Jason | Online Dating Rituals of the American Male Blog Matt & Jason | Online Dating Rituals of the American Male Blog

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Bless Candis' pink-shimmer-lipstick heart, she really pulled out all the stops—a giant push-up bra, lots of touching, and an invite to her jacuzzi probably both literally and figuratively.

The date was stellar, and it ended with the perfect Hollywood kiss.

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He also loves to pick up his dates in limos—all red flags in this recapper's opinion. Erika spent a lot of the date explaining a few of her past romantic foibles read: While Matt's in L.

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Emily is from Massachusetts, but she's not "totally sure if she's from this planet, if you want to get real technical. Let's start with year-old director Jason. It seemed like it could have been his first home run of the episode until he realized that she reminded him of his sister.

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Matt is a constant giggler and physically cannot stop himself from dropping totally inappropriate sexual innuendos. But Karma won out in the end — Matt still woke up alone.

Finally, Jason had high hopes for his date with Renee, a bubbly short brunette who is also from the Midwest!

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Those guys are nice! That's the kind of thing that only happens—wait for it—in a movie.

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The date was a hit, and the two even got the exact same fortune in their fortune cookies! Thus is life for this week's courageous online daters, Jason and Matt.

More Another day, another date.

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Who he met was a year-old mother of six in a bodycon dress and an '80s perm. Next up, Jason met Emily at a dog park for a little hoola hooping, dog watching, and casual discussion about auras and other things you read on Yogi tea bags. Lauren showed up early to meet Matt while he was still on his date with Joanne, and Lauren still agreed to a drink with him.

Though a lot of things look great about Jason on paper, the problem is he thinks life should be exactly like a romantic comedy, and he's looking for a 90's Pamela Anderson-esque leading lady.

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Matt gets back at it with "Allie99," a cute blonde who loves champagne. Judging by her profile pictures, Jason thought he was meeting a year-old sassy blonde lady named Candis.

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Meanwhile, Jason Dating one liners jokes to a drink with "Erikarose," an expert in vocal fry and oyster shooters. He's been on over online dates across the country because he's always traveling for his job, and nothing's worked out so far.

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