Dads 10 rules of dating. Daddys 10 rules of dating
Daddy's Rules for Dating
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Please do not do this.
You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you.
Dressing as if no one in their life was speaking any wisdom into their lives. Make them known long before you need them. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. Places where there is darkness. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts,tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. What are your dating rules?
Hockey games are okay. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Hockey games are okay. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
What is your dress code? The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: However, many of you have older daughters and you are in the middle of this tumultuous time of life.
Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.
I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car --there is no need for you to come inside.
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